Masquerade

Swimming in the Dark

2009-06-09T10:49:59+02:00

A voice thats thick with unshed tears
A heart thats heavy and low
A brief shining moment in the dark
A desire to go with the flow

A head that tells me to stop and think
A heart thats easy to break
A desire divided, wants many things
with destruction in its wake

A light thats bright and steady ahead
A constant there for me
A heart thats lifting with belief
This is how things need to be

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Looking to the Future

2008-12-09T11:44:15+01:00

If you look into the future
Can you tell me what you see
Is it full of sun and laughter
is it happy for you and me?

When I look into the future
The past just fades away
No more lonely tears and emptyness
Its colourful not grey

It may take time to get there
I know it may be tough
But believe me I am willing
To take the smooth stuff with the rough

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You

2008-11-25T13:42:33+01:00

I crawled out of the darkness and into the light
and standing right there was you in my sight

Suddenly happy, cheered up and free
I finally felt like I could be me

But then something happened, something was wrong
and I'm falling apart like I did for so long

Hurt and confused, and left in a daze
I need a way clear, to see through this haze

The mist has decended, chilly and cold
But I can't let it get me, I won't shrink and fold

There's something to fight for, something to give
A reason for being, a reason to live

I crawled out of the darkness and into the light
and standing right there, was you in my sight

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Shapes..

2008-07-24T13:09:42+02:00

Round in a circle
My life seems to go
Where it will stop
I really don't know

I live on a sine wave
its all up and down
Sometimes its all smiles
and at others I frown

But when I think of it
and how life could be
Why want a square life
That just isn't me!

Comments

Up out of the dark

2008-04-21T15:56:26+02:00

A feeling inside me
that I cannot shake
a small secret smile
I feel so awake

people assume
they know the full you
thinking you're weakened
with things you won't do

But I feel the strength
inside of me
And feeling much stronger
than I thought I could be

And I know in the end
that I will survive
and that thought alone
Helps to heal and revive

Then in the darkness
I can see a light
the strenght I have lifts me
I'm winning this fight

Onwards and upwards
I'm flying so high
out of the darkness
in to sundrenched sky

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Warning

2008-01-24T20:34:13+01:00

Don't make the mistake of thinking I'm stupid
Don't make the mistake and think I'm not strong
Don't think that because I can act like a sweet one
I can't see the times when I know I'm not wrong

Don't think that I'm so nice I'll never be evil
Don't think that I'm too nice to say what I think
Don't think that I'll never act like a scorned woman
I've learned things the hard way, I won't let me sink

Don't think I am blind and I can't see whats written
Don't think I'm naive and don't know what it means
Don't think I will take it I won't be walked over
I won't be a doormat I'm not here to clean

Comments

Beyond the Dark

2008-01-19T16:31:52+01:00

Beyond the dark
throughout the night
there shines for me
the brightest light

Its shines for me
Its light is strong
its there for me
when things go wrong

And inside me
its strong and true
the light that is
my love for you

Strong and true
steady and clear
those lights do show
no need for fear

Comments

Looking but not seeing

2008-01-19T16:28:53+01:00

People look but don't see what there is thats inside
They don't want to see the part that I hide
But I'm coming apart and I'm starting to grow
And soon I won't care that people don't know
One day they will see how it could have been
If only they'd taken the time and they'd seen
Different and bolder, stronger less shy
But all of it hidden and some don't care why
However for now I'll just smile inside
and know soon enough I'll not need to hide

Comments

I don't miss you

2008-01-05T22:09:47+01:00

I loved you completely
I gave all of me
But now its so clear
Its not meant to be

I gave you it all
what I had to give
but now i find out
its my turn to live

I don't miss you at all
not one little bit
I am living my life
and it all seems to fit

Its great to move on
its great to be free
and no I don't miss you
but hope you miss me

Comments

Grey

2007-11-26T16:15:50+01:00

Staring out the window
It seems so grey today
Looking for an answer
About why you went away

I feel alone and empty
And oh so insecure
The cold it shrouds around me
My sadness is its lure

I want you here beside me
It always felt so right
Now I miss you dearly
Especially at night

Comments

Bleeding

2007-11-24T11:53:23+01:00

My scars are all so very small
yet each one seeps and bleed
A hundred tiny little cuts
but they do the dreadful deed

Out of each little tiny cut
drips some small part of me
my life it slowly slips away
an essence meant to be

Too many cuts spill out the blood
too many to stem the flow
Too many to be bandaged up
too many for this I know

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Too Many

2007-11-24T11:52:33+01:00

Too many tears have been wasted
Too many times I have cried
Too many nights spent alone now
No matter how hard i have tried

The world it keeps spinning and turning
Time doesn't stop, not for me,
My heart; it just keeps on breaking
I just hope against hope to be free

What have I done to deserve this,
What did I do that was wrong?
I just wanted to help and be friendly
I was there for you all, all along.

Comments

Because of you

2007-11-24T11:51:29+01:00

There are times when I hate you but never seriously
I get so angry and weepy and don't want to be me.

Other times I am fine and can get on with living
but wonder if it was worth all that giving.

I want to move on but am wondering how,
but I know that I can I can feel it right now.

There's hope in my heart and I may just forgive,
and get on with giving and learning to live.

Its not always there but I feel the hope grow,
I am learning to bear things and just go with the flow.

Comments

Reincarnation

2007-11-24T11:49:55+01:00

If re-incarnation existed
I'd want to come back as a cat
I'd spend all day eating and sleeping
no one would care that I'm fat!

I'd prowl around out in the garden
Chasing the frogs and the mice
I'd act like the queen of the jungle
but everyone still thinks I'm nice!

My humans would feed me and keep me
they'd stroke me and care for me well
I'd sit on their laps and purr at them
and claw their legs lots if I fell

Comments

Masked....

2007-11-22T16:08:05+01:00

I exist with a mask in place
that hides away my truthful face
I want to show the me inside
for there's nothing I need to hide

that was going to be in the blog header but I can't figure out how to keep it in its format...for now I think I'll just have it as a sticky post

Comments

Living....

2007-11-22T13:29:19+01:00

I think its time to see the sun
come out and play and have some fun

In the dark its been too long
now's the time to right that wrong

Too many times I've cried inside
and felt I need to curl and hide

I want to laugh and run and live
and give all that I have to give

Its my time, its starting now
I only need to figure out how

Comments

Masquerade

2007-11-12T13:38:37+01:00

I feel like I'm unable to be
Who I want the world to see
I yell and scream and stamp inside
and thats the me I "need" to hide
Yet if I let this demon live
I may just get what I want and give
But for now a mask sits in place
and its that mask the world will face..

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